Mark Bowers was a younger friend of ours. We knew him from church. This was just too good to be true.
“Mark?!” Chris said in an excited tone over the headset. “Are you sure it’s Mark?”
“One hundred percent,” I whispered back. “Cease talk. They’re too close.”
I was still worried that they would see me, and I did not want to blow this fantastic setup. After all how many times do you get the chance to nail one of your friends in the act of rolling your yard. After a minute or so my tension eased. They were starting their handiwork.
“Chris,” I spoke softly.
“I’m here,” he replied.
“I’m going to make my way to their car.” I said it as I started the crawl to our neighbor’s driveway where they had left their vehicle.
“Good idea,” Chris replied. “I am going to give Steve the headset while I call the police. This is just too good to pass up.”
I laughed as I continued to make my way to their vehicle. The thought of Mark being interrogated by the police was too funny. “Hey, Steve? You there?”
“I’m here.” I could hear him adjusting the headset. As he did he asked me, “Who are the other three culprits?”
“I have no idea,” I said as I reached the car. “They must be some friends from school or something. I’ve never seen any of them at church.” My thoughts switched gears. “Oh man…Steve! You’ll never guess what I see!”
“What?”
“They left the doors unlocked and…” I couldn’t believe my luck, “and they left the keys in the ignition!”
I heard Steve passing along the info to my brother who was now on the phone with the police headquarters. Steve asked, “What are you going to do?”
“Has Chris had any luck with the cops?”
“He’s on the phone with a dispatch,” Steve replied. “She is really hoping they have someone available. She is checking now.” Steve paused and I could here him talking to Chris as he covered the microphone.
While he was talking I made a split second decision that had the possibility of disastrous consequences. I decided I was going to “borrow” their car and leave all four of our toilet-papering friends trapped without escape. Of course, at the time, I forgot that my brother was on the phone with the police trying to persuade them to send on officer to nab the culprits. If I had thought about that I might not have been so hasty with my decision seeing as Mark and his friends might have successfully charged me with grand theft auto.
Steve came back on the headset, “Hey man, are you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here…sort of…” I replied.
“Sort of?” he questioned.
“Well, I’m taking their vehicle for a little test drive.” I had turned the vehicle around and was speeding away from the scene of the crime as fast as I could. I never looked back, and I lost contact with my partners. The last thing I heard in my earpiece was, “Are you crazy? What are you…?!”
Once I was safely away from all of the action I realized that I did not know where I was going. That was not a good feeling. I knew I could not go far because I had to hide the car and walk back to my house. I finally decided to leave it at a small park that was about half a mile from my house. My adrenaline was racing as I concealed the car behind some trees, locked the doors and pocketed the keys.
It took me about fifteen minutes to walk back to my house. I tried to raise Chris or Steve on the headset the whole way back. When I finally did I found out the police did not have anyone available to nab Mark and his friends. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief having figured out the trouble I might have received. Chris also told me that Mark and his buddies were now hard at work cleaning up their mess. Once they saw their car heading south they realized their game was up. At first they just sat there. Then, Chris confronted them and told them what they had to do to get their vehicle back. I cannot remember all of the terms, but I know they were rather humiliating.
We found out later that night that one of Mark’s friends was a foreign exchange student (I think she was from Norway) and that she had never been rolling before, so Mark decided to take her. I’ll bet she never did it again!
After an hour or so of torture I took them back to their vehicle and warned them never to try to one up us again! They never did. As a matter of fact, the legend grew through the years, and it became known throughout the land that you couldn’t roll our yard without getting nailed! Of course, the challenge was too great to resist for some, and the mighty fell one night about five years later. But that is another story.
From my desktop to yours, it’s another Alabama memory.
