Have you ever had your wisdom teeth removed? Does it mean you are not as wise as you once were? Or, does it mean that you realize the oral surgeon who sedated you, carved you up, and sent you home “loopy” would not have made enough to cover the payments on his new yacht if your wisdom teeth were still around! Maybe that’s why I don’t feel so wise.
Any way you look at it, having your wisdom teeth removed is a memory worth sharing! So, share I will:
It happened on a Wednesday, sometime between 10:30 and 11:00 in the morning. My wife and I arrived at the Oral Surgeon’s office, signed in and took a seat. I was a little nervous and a little punchy. I had not eaten any food since seven o’clock the night before, and my breakfast consisted of three pills and 3 ounces of water. As I sat down and looked around I realized that there were close to twenty people in the same room waiting for the same procedure. My financially centered heart immediately began to do the math and it did not take me long to decide on a new profession for my youngest son. My oldest already has his heart set on being a veterinarian. “Everyone has wisdom teeth,” I muttered out loud. My wife ignored me.
After two or three minutes of pondering, I heard my name over the loudspeaker. I headed for the door only to be directed to the cashier.
“That will be five hundred and twenty-six dollars, Mr.Urban,” she quickly stated (my sixty percent copay).
”Wow! That was more painful than I expected,” I replied. “Couldn’t you have sedated me first?”
She smiled politely. I wrote the check and went back to the waiting room.
I rejoined my wife and commented, “Well, the painful part is over.” She smiled politely. My thoughts went back to an early retirement mooching off of my rich son. About the time I reached the beaches of Tahiti I heard my name again. “Wow, that Lortab is good stuff!” I thought to myself. I made my way to the back room. It was time.
As I settled into my temporary home for the morning and told the second nurse I had seen in two minutes what I had to eat last and when, I was feeling pretty good. Then, she picked up the IV needle.
”Okay, this is going to feel a little like an ant bite,” she said just before inserting it.
“That’s not bad,” I replied. I thought maybe my worries were misdirected. Then she plunged it in and I screamed the loudest silent scream possible. “Oh, you meant one of those Australian bullet ants!”
She smiled politely.
In less than a minute it didn’t matter any more. I was asleep.
NEXT TIME – RUNNING LOW ON WISDOM – PART 2
From my desktop to yours, it’s another Alabama memory.
