Marriage

     Back in 1989 when I married my beautiful wife, our minister asked if it would be okay to start the ceremony with a joke.  It’s been years since I thought of this, but it was really quite apropos.

          A pastor was asked to come and talk with a Sunday School class about marriage. He prepared his lesson carefully, entered the class and began with a question. “Boys and girls, I am here this morning to talk with you about marriage. Before I begin, can any of you tell me what Jesus had to say about marriage?”

After an awkward silence, little Johnny raised his hand eagerly. When the pastor nodded, he proudly gave his answer: “Jesus said, `Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’”

     Isn’t that the truth?!  If you are married or if you have been married I know you can identify.  I love my wife and I love my family, but on that Saturday in June of 1989, I really did not have a clue what the future would hold.  I did not know that we would endure simultaneous stomach viruses thanking God for two bathrooms.  I did not know that her grandmother would become part of our immediate family for years before she passed away.  I did not know that one day a doctor would hold up her uterus following her first caesarian section and ask me if I wanted to take a peek.  I didn’t know any of these things.

     Still, it really did not matter.  I’m sure that was the point the pastor made on that fantastic summer day back in 1989.  It was a commitment we were making, a commitment to always be there for each other no matter what was in our future.  I guess that’s what marriage is when you get down to it – a commitment, and an understanding.

     Maybe it’s time to pull out the old wedding video again and remind myself of the things I said.  But before I do that, let me share one more with you:

A man was speaking to God.
“God, why did you  make women so beautiful?” he asked.
God said: “I did that to make you love them”.
Then the man asked: “Well, God; why did you make them such good cooks?”
God said: “I did that to make you love them”.
The man then asked: “But God, why did you make women so stupid?”.
God said: “Oh, I did that to make them love you ! “

From my desktop to yours, it’s another Alabama memory.

Heroes

Summertime was and is one of the greatest things about growing up in Alabama.  If you mention the season to me, it brings back memories of swimming pools, fishing, dirtball fights, forts, video games, baseball, fireworks, Frisbees, tennis, camp, and of course, girls.  For boys everywhere growing up ruins summertime.  Before puberty we see the season as one big adventure waiting for us.  The simplest things capture our imaginations.  A stick becomes a golden scabbard; a rock becomes a cannonball.  Our backyard is a time portal to the seven seas or an unknown planet beyond our galaxy.  Our rooms are full of hidden caves and buried treasure.  Every day turns us into a new hero accomplishing a new superhuman task, rescuing civilization and mankind right before Mom calls us in for dinner.  Life is excellent!  And then…puberty.

With puberty comes an awareness of the opposite sex that preoccupies and overwhelms the young male mind, especially during the summer.  Thoughts of adventure and heroism fade into thoughts of insecurity and self-awareness.  The back yard turns into something you mow.  Your room turns into an ordinary room with a mirror on a wall where you can ponder all of the changes your body is undergoing.  Your house turns into a prison and your parents into wardens.  Your brothers and sisters turn into objects of deep envy, reminders of how easy and beautiful life used to be.  Nothing is the same.

If you talk to grown men about this change, most of them will agree; it is a place they never want to visit again!  I believe most of our male adult lives are spent trying to get back to our childhood before puberty, when life was simple and we were heroes.  It is the core of our being.  We want to be heroes.  It can be found in the politician, the CEO, the professional baseball player, the teacher, the engineer, the systems administrator, and every other man on the planet. All of us want to save the day.  We want to be applauded and cheered for liberating civilization from the dark side once again.  If you look hard enough, you can see it.

There are many male responses to this desire for heroism.  Some men pursue it quietly and diligently at work or with their families.  Others will seize the adoration they seek through military, corporate, or social conquest.  Any way you look at it though, it is the foremost task in the heart and mind of the adult male to recapture his back yard youth and to once again become a hero!  Don’t you think?

From my desktop to yours, it’s another Alabama memory.